Can your smartphone get here?

This is just a little something I would like to show to you. You see, I like to do different things and I want to showcase some of what I do. So if you smart-phone can read this you can take a look at some of my other interests.

Enjoy,

Ryzyn

Another Story

Here is another story that I have come across in my travels and travails:

I do not know when it happened nor do I know what triggered it. All I know is that all of a sudden it hit me. Really hard! To say it was like getting kicked in the chest by a really pissed off horse would be the closest thing I could come to this feeling that was coursing through me. The next thing I know I found myself being twisted around my own thoughts. The problem with this was that I could not get hold of not one tangible shred of clarity. Attempt after failed attempt, trying to get hold of one clear thought that would allow me to remain sane and coherent, just long enough for me to get home and sleep it off.

I could not believe it... I was clearly losing control and there was conversation going on in the vehicle that I just so happened to be riding in.

It seems that we (my friends and I) were just driving back from the movie theater. We were headed back to the parking lot where our respective vehicles were kept. It seems that we decided to carpool to the theater with "G-Man" (well that is what I called him). We were talking about how bad the movie we just saw was. I mean it was awful (I would give the name of the movie here; however, I do not believe it is even worth mentioning.)! That is when it began. Like I said earlier, I have no earthly clue as to what triggered these feelings. But there they were... Just sitting there waiting for me. Just aching to cause me grief. Feeling the need to test me. I was not ready.

So as I was saying before -- I was trying to get hold of a tangible though when I began to realize that my own brain was working against me:

It was as if the logical side of my brain was trying to get out because the creative center was apparently throwing an all night rave... In my Skull!

So there I was staring off outside of the window just feeling nothing but pain. For whatever reason, I began to lash out and strike at nothing. That is when Vicky, Genelle and Karen all noticed that I had stopped talking.

I must explain. When we are all together, it is I who becomes the life of the party. Willing to do what needs to be done in order to have a good time. That's me! Always there with a funny anecdote or a funny joke or quip about something. I liked it. It suited me.

So when Genelle, who was right next to me saw that I was turned away from the others in the group, she became concerned...

Part Two coming later...

OK... Now What?

Hi there again. I have been working my butt off, both at work and at the gym. I am seeing a pay-off on the work I am doing at the gym. Went to the doctor the other day and she had me jump on the scale (ewwww!!). I had gained weight??!?! What? GAINED! This cannot be. Ahh... But it is. It seems that the weight I am actually putting on is in fact muscle mass. This is really cool. The doctor even indicated that I look much thinner now than in my previous visits. This is great. That made me feel quite good to be recognized for that. I would like to take the opportunity right now to thank the FFwWO organization. If I continue on the path that I am currently on right now, I will not be able to stay on the organization as it's primary member and founder. I believe a few more weeks on the current workout routine and I might just have to buy all new clothing. I think I will be soon listing the basics of my routine, just in case anyone reading this would like to follow. It is not that hard and far cheaper than gastric-cosmetic surgery don't you think?

Well here it is, July of 2010 big deal! So far I am not that impressed. I am either working or working out that is my life right now. Not really all that impressive. Another update coming soon... In the meantime think about this:


Why do we do it?...

Still Working Out

Hello... Guess What I decided I was going to start a new group/club... it is called Fat Fuckers who Work Out (FFwWO)! Whaddya' think? Nice name huh? Now keep in mind that I came up with the name because it was obvious. I am a fat fuck who was working out. Since I have been losing weight and am having a modicum of success at it, I decided to start this group with some folks at work. They seem to really like the idea. This is definitely not a support group in the literal sense, as there really is no support given. I managed to come across some information that I relay to the other folks and then invite them to work out with me or in parallel in another location. It does not matter to me if they join me or not. The way I see it, most groups attempt to support their followers by identifying and concerning themselves with the others feelings. I do not believe that applies here. I think that the people of this group already know who and what they are. It is up to each individual to attempt to understand and do what needs to be done. The group is comprised of like-minded individuals who are looking to achieve the same goal. That goal is to lose fat and keep a healthy and active lifestyle that will be easy to maintain.

It is pretty cool in the respect that because each person in the group is accountable for what they do, it only makes sense that success or failure is solely the responsibility of the individual. Now one will think "but does that not defeat the purpose of the group?". The answer is -- No it does not. Why? Simple. People will follow of their own free will if they see a benefit out of it. The benefit here is better health overall. Now when people see that someone is having success, regardless of the degree, as long as the behavior does not fall outside of their own comfort zones, emulation of that behavior will occur. If through emulation of the behavior results in a positive outcome and benefit for the individual, then the behavior will be repeated by that individual. Most behavior is learned through observation and emulation of the environment around you (this does include people as well). Therefore a logical thought process can be made. In this case, the individual sees a goal and moves towards it. Others see what the individual is doing and begins a logical thought process. If the conclusion of the group indicates that a benefit to each individual of the group can be obtained whilst being able to remain in their respective comfort zones then the group moves in the same direction emulating the behavior of the initiator. As results are noticed and felt by the rest of the group, it is prudent to say that the comfort zones of each person in the group will increase in accordance with the results obtained. Now it should be noted that the comfort zones of each person in the group will not grow at the same rate as the others in the same group. This can be attributed to many factors. Some of which are external (work, family, time, etc...) and internal (self esteem, stress, not seeing "fast" enough results, etc...). There are too many variables to list. It is at this point where the individual must decide to fail or succeed according to what their "wants" dictate. I say "wants" because ultimately the body already knows what it needs so it does not factor in to the dynamic of the group. The idea is for the group to recognize that their bodies, in its' entirety already knows what it needs to do. We merely provide the means to facilitate the needs of the body.

What the group will be ultimately doing is working with their own bodies in order to achieve the end goal. Or in the case of this group the end "need". The end "need" in this case is repeatable behavior that will lead to habit of knowing what the needs of the individual are and fulfill that need. Once the need is met, there is no need to do anything else, the need is self-sustaining.

In the case of FFwWO, the need is to lose fat (not weight), to achieve a healthy body and an ability to use the needs of the body for repeatable, positive, self-sustaining behavior that will carry over to all aspects of each persons life. This is something that cannot be taught in school or from a book. It can be learned however, from each person in the group by understanding what the need is in every action each person does that leads to the end "need".

If you notice, in the previous paragraph I stated "It can be learned however, from each person in the group by understanding what the need is in every action each person does that leads to the end "need".". But I did not use the word "simply". The reason for this is that it is not simple, it is not easy in any way, shape or form. The ease or difficulty is strictly dependent upon each person to decide for themselves the level of ease or difficulty they wish to place upon each action they apply in order to achieve the need or desired result they are after.

The group does offer one thing that the individual sometimes finds difficulty in getting. Encouragement. Simply put, it is nice to hear from someone other than your mirror that a change is noticed in that person. It sends a positive message and reinforces the behavior that elicited the observation from the other person in the first place. Upon hearing this a new need is put in place. The need to recognize the actions and behavior that led to the positive statement and make it repeatable. After a time, the comments will be complimentary only and will no longer serve as the fuel to push the need forward (you will need to be polite and say thank you and show appreciation for the comment). The need has become repeatable to the point where it is self-sustaining. It is now a habit. The person in the group no longer thinks about repeating successful behavior, it is now a habit that is not even thought of. It just is.

So the people that I ask to be in the group all understand... I am not concerned with feelings and how you feel about things emotionally. If that is what is sought after, then you will fail and you will still be a fat fuck like I was and wait for the magic pill or whatever pixie-dust will be foisted upon your senses during late night infomercial time.

There is work involved (I will discuss the type of work I am doing in more detail in a later post). Believe me, there is so much work involved. But I understand that I am a fat fucker and I do not hide that fact. There is a good chance that my reasons for doing what I am doing will not be the same as the others in the group. That is because my end "need" is different from the others in the group. The similarities lie in the fact that everyone in the group has a need to be in a healthier state of being to ultimately better their individual lifestyles.

I will be happy for their successes. As should everyone else in the group. I will not however, acknowledge their failures. Nor should anyone else in the group. Each person is responsible for their own successes and failures. I do not have time to pity and dwell on why I failed on any portion of my path to the end "need". I just know that I have to get there and I cannot stop until I do.

So to the folks in the group: I welcome you wholeheartedly. Enjoy the road many bumps await you, but whether you know it or not, you do have it in you to smooth things out over time. Just do the work and get to your needs.

Peace Out YO!!!

Ryzyn

What in the world have I done??!?!!

How has it come to pass that I manage to find myself in the situations I find myself in. It really does not make a whole lot of sense to me. Just when it seems that I am putting myself in a position where I can really take control of my life and do some good, I somehow find a way to sabotage all the work and effort I put into what it was I was doing. Here, is where an effort is made to look beyond oneself and seek out the root of why things tend to blow up in my face!

The sad part here is that whenever it happens, it never fails that I am somehow surprised about the results of my actions and the words I choose that surround said actions. It is exactly like sticking your hand in an open flame and burning yourself. Once you do that you immediately realize several things:

A)It really hurts! (after all you just stuck your hand in an open flame)
B)Your brain recognizes the type of external stimulus as completely and utterly unwarranted and immediately seeks to find ways to heal the burn and store said memory for future reference.
The reason for this is simple: Your brain will instantly tell the rest of the body that this is an action that under no circumstances should ever be repeated for any reason whatsoever!
C)Naturally you place your entire person and your (now burnt) hand a safe distance away from the open flame.

This is information that quickly processed, assimilated as good knowledge and subsequently applied as a rule... Of course that is what happens in a normal brain from a (clinically speaking) normal human being. This is information that is processed by the youngest of children and immediately applied as learned behavior.

Now lets take a look at the same situation; with say – A brain that is seemingly normal, but apparently lacks the ability to retain positive/negative end result stimulus... Shall we?

Hand goes into the fire (the reason here is unimportant as we are looking towards the end result)
It really hurts! (seems to be just like the one listed above... huh?)
Your brain recognizes the type of external stimulus as completely and utterly unwarranted and immediately seeks to find ways to heal the burn and store said memory for future reference.
The reason for this is simple: Your brain will instantly tell the rest of the body that this is an action that under no circumstances should ever be repeated for any reason whatsoever! (hey... That looks exactly like (B) from above does it not?)

So far, everything appears to be looking the same as the previous (letter) bulleted list would you agree? Now this is where it gets interesting. We are now at the point where the brain deliberately sabotages itself, yet being completely cognizant of what just happened.

Instead of the brains logical progression indicated in bullet “C”, you look completely astonished at the chain of events that has now left you with a slightly burnt hand.
Instead of moving away to a slightly safer distance, you somehow manage to convince yourself that it might be a good idea to perform one of the two actions (really there is no other choice you give yourself)
1.Stick the same (yet slightly burnt) hand back into the fire – Or...
2.Feeling that the other hand clearly has not seen enough action you stick that one into the awaiting open flame.

Here is the punchline on this:

There you are screaming like an idiot (well... because you are) whilst inflicting major (and possibly debilitating) damage to yourself and for whatever reason, your own brain has you duped into believing that you have no earthly idea why this has occurred?

Any person witnessing this less than amazing strewn together events will think that the other individual would not be even qualified for “Village Idiot”. The reason for this is that a village idiot knows what he is and in acceptance of that fact. This on the other hand lives in the middle of the land of the absurd in the county of buffoonery.

Back to the real world –

But this is exactly what I have done to myself for well over twenty years. It really does hurt. In addition, for well over twenty years I have managed to continue to repeat the same set of behavior patterns that I now believe has done egregious amounts of damage and heaped ridiculous levels of strife with copious amounts of bad judgment. This is just plain stupid as far as I am concerned.

Now you might be looking at this and wondering – “why are you beating yourself up like this?”... You do not have to do that.

Several items should be noted here:

1.I am not “beating myself up” I am merely stating fact. If you knew my life you would see that this would be an accurate (albeit slightly oversimplified) description of what I am doing or have done to myself.
2.I am also accepting responsibility on my part for the judgments (good, bad, indifferent), the words I have chosen to use and how they are used and taken by myself and others around me and for the actions that I have enacted (good, bad, none) that garnered the results that they did.
3.The weight of all this is not only shouldered by me alone. I had help making me the way that I am.

All that being said, one can conclude that I am an aggregate of all that I have done, seen and been taught.

Funny thing is that the last two (seen, been taught) in the previous statement actually lead to the first (have done). The sad thing is that ultimately I never took the opportunity to utilize the tools that led to all of this. I was not taught to recognize them. Though when I was a teenager, I had them right in front of me and I “chose” not to use them.

Why you ask?

It is because I was never allowed to fall flat on my face and fail. Because I was not allowed to fall on my keister, I did not know what it was to have to get back up and continue on. This repetitive behavior has continued on into my now almost middle-aged years.




Looking back, I have seen what the cost of my mistakes has been:

Lack of career determination
Failure in some of the aspects of my career
Failure in relationships
Laziness
Careless attitude towards others
Lack of honesty with self and those around me
Not paying attention (physically, emotionally and mentally)
Looking to avoid responsibility and accountability

All this... To top it off I have given some of these most detestable traits to my own child.

For this, I am truly sorry! I have no excuse for this.

This statement is directed to all Fathers!!!

Whether you wish to admit it or not, when your child look at you this is what they know... For these things all children know them to be irrefutable truths.

All Fathers are:

1.Indestructible
2.Immortal
3.Bulletproof

This is how your children see you. How do I know this? Easy... This is how I saw My own father. The reality is that children know that everyone has flaws.. Guess what? They just do not care about the small things like flaws and shortcomings.

If I do not get my act together and find a cure for my “cranial-rectilitis” (add your own euphemism if you like), I will have thoroughly and completely failed my own child. It is not fair!

Take this as you will... I already have!

Peace out,

Ryzynforce

Seriously?!

A simple question that does not always have a simple answer. Do all of you dislike these kinds of questions as much as I? Well here is one that I know we all at one time or another asked ourselves: "Why is this day so damn frustrating?"

It seems a bit cliche and old but for some reason it always seems to come back on us like yesterdays burrito with extra salsa.

You will often find yourself trying to make all the odd things just stop and they do not. Why? Simple... Life does not work that way and it was ever designed to. It just is.

I have been having one of those days and I know I just have to work through it.

So if you are seeing this and having one of those days, just do what I am going to do right now...

Go to sleep... Good night everyone.

Ryzyn

The New New New Me!!

Ok! So here it is 2010, the spring season is in full swing and I recently decided to forcefully pull my head from my ass. Seems like an easy thing to do, does it not? But let me tell you my friends, it sometimes takes a almost seemingly Herculean type effort. But here is what I have done so far:

After weeks and months of arguing with my own body I decided I had better do something about my health and well being. Seeing how I needed to come up with my own damn "Health-Care" plan on my own, I decided to start eating right and getting my ass back into the gym.

This was no easy task I tell you. In addition to that I decided to concentrate more on work and getting my head straight. Once again not as easy as some might think. The hardest part about all this is that I am doing this almost completely on my own. I am not actively seeking help from outside sources. I will succeed in the things I do solely on my own merits and the decisions I make for myself and hope that it does not affect anyone else in the processes.

So I am in the gym and and I have managed to blow the dust off of my old regimen. Realizing, that I could not just jump full bore back into the old routine I managed to modify the regimen enough such that it would be a quick path to the old routine without killing myself.

It seems that in the past when I was doing this, I failed quite often. Why? Well the reason was simple. I allowed big enough distractions to take me off of my game even though those distractions had nothing to do with my wellness program that I instituted for myself.

You see, it was all in my head. Somehow, I convinced myself that because the distractions were too great I could not continue because it would now get in the way of fixing what was now placed in front of me.

This is a hard lesson to learn because this is something that can ultimately ruin me. I find myself in a situation that I cannot afford the price of those distractions taking me out like that. I have a few things going for me now. To list what they are now will be a problem because the list of things is incomplete and will be yet another distraction. You will see soon.

I know that this will be a good thing for me and I will do my best to write it all down as it happens.

On to the good stuff...

So I am in the gym. More determined than ever to lose the chub and get back to some semblance of shape and good health. The impetus for this occurred whilst I was trying on a pair of pants that I thought were my size. LO AND BEHOLD!!! They were not. They were how do you say... "A bit snug.". Holee Fat-rolls Batman! This was the last straw. I found myself in a position that I could no longer justify paying extra for clothing because I am overweight. This is just plain stupid as far as I am concerned and I immediately felt that this situation really did not need to exist.

After I completed my self verbal tongue-lashing, I knew what it was I had to do to remedy the situation. So I began...

Got back into the gym listened as my own body did everything that it could to go against me. The conversation happened a lot like my previous post about my working out. It is one of the first ones I wrote. But this time I found that although there was resistance, it was not as bad as the first time. This time it seemed as if it were a loud din in the room and they just doing some off the cuff complaining about the work but ultimately there was compliance and things are going much smoother now.

I am actually at a point where I can switch my routine to increase the level of fat-burn and wight loss overall. This will require a bit more will-power from me but I believe that in the end it will all work out (no pun intended).

Next time: I think I will attempt to write about what is getting in my way and what I am doing to work around that.

Peace!